Not Feelin’ It

Why do so many people who have prayed a prayer or had a religious experience still feel like they aren't saved?

Not Feelin’ It

  • Great Topic. I can relate to this. I was saved as a boy when I was in 3rd grade. However I was one of 6 kids in my Family and my Dad was not saved at the time and my Mom was a new Christian. My Dad was an alcoholic and none of my brothers and sisters were saved. Many times the Pastor of my church would pick me up and take me to church I lived a good Christian life until I got into Junior High, Then from influence and peer pressure I gave in and starting drinking;smoking;doing drugs;having sex. All at the age of 13. Then when I was 15 we had a family tragedy. I saw my brother get killed and my mother get seriously injured to the point of certain death (she evenly survived and is still around today..I’m 55 now) However; I seen things that night no 15 year old boy should ever see. The incident tore our family apart. My mom was in the hospital over a year and I moved away to stay with friends in Ohio. This sunk me deeper into alcoholic and drug addiction. To top it off the school in Ohio after allowing me to finish the 9th grade in Junior High would not allow me to go into High School without guardianship papers. So I went to night school and got a GED and continued my sin filled life. By the time I was 19 or 20 I was divorced and had 3 kids. I continued that sort of life style until I remarried when I was 30. From there is was off and on drinking and doing drugs. My wife hated it so I tried to limit it as much as I could. Through out all of that I never lost (for the most part) the belief that I was saved and knew I was doing wrong and needed to stop. In other words I never tried to justify what I was doing. God was with me through out it all weather I realized it or not. For instance; because of my lifestyle and education I could never land a decent paying job with benefits or what-ever. One day; even though knee deep in sin I decided to go to church and told my wife to get the kids ready. We picked a Church at random. We went and during the invitation I went forward. Except not to confess my sins of drinking ect.ect.. I told the man I wanted to pray for a job. A GOOD JOB with benifits ect.. I’m sure he thought that to be a little odd but we did just that. That same week I got a call from the schools. They asked me if I still wanted to work for them. (I had applied; been interviewed and completely forgotten about working there) So I said yes; and I went there totally expecting to be a part-time sub custodian. The lady in the office started handing me Union Papers and showed me my starting rate of pay and I about fell out of my chair. I asked her if I was full time; she said yes. They hired me completely off the streets full time. Something they never do. If fact; I still work for them they haven’t done it since. The lady told me my assignment which was a Middle school in Plymouth. She told me to start at 3. That was a mistake the rest of the crew started at 7am but they showed me around and I ended working by myself the first day. At lunch I went out to have a smoke and sat at a picnic table. Guess what was in my field of view… That little church where I had just gone in the previous Sunday and went forward to pray for a GOOD JOB. There I was across the fence working full time good pay good benifits ect. I still work there now. So God was always there for me; but even that didn’t wake me up. I never did go back to that church and continued my life. I eventually stopped drinking because my wife hated it so bad but I did it by taking prescription drugs.
    It was only recently that I became under heavy conviction. a couple of years ago. I mean HEAVY. Psalms 18:2 states that the Lord is my buckler. I don’t know what that is supposed to mean but for me it meant he buckled my knees.I received a calling as well to “Come Out from Among Them” I heard a voice in my head say that twice. I won’t go into detail but I did some heavy repenting; some fasting. It was about a 3 week process. It felt urgent at the time. I felt like the Lord was telling me I needed to do this NOW! I figured it was because Jesus was coming back. As it turned out my wife passed away last year so I think the Lord might have been doing it for that reason at least that’s might be why he made it “URGENT” . I now have the assurance of salvation I haven’t experienced since I was a kid. Even though I always knew I was saved (I did have doubts but that was because of my lifestyle) i was missing that inner peace and assurance. It’s an awesome feeling. Even though this past year has been tough with losing my wife. The Lord has been with me through it all. Sorry; didn’t me to write a life story///

  • Leave a Reply

    Font Resize